Blue

Memory is a funny thing. When I was in the scene I hardly paid it any attention. I never stopped to think of it as something that would make a lasting impression, certainly never imagined that 18 years later I would recall it in such detail. I didn't give a damn about the scenery that day. I was thinking about myself. I was thinking about the beautiful girl walking next to me. I was thinking about the two of us together, and then about myself again. I was at that age, that time of life when every sight, every feeling, every thought came back, like a boomerang, to me. And worse, I was in love. Love with complications. Scenery was the last thing on my mind. -Norwegian Wood, by Harumi Murakami 

unbelieveable how i write this post with longing feeling and can't hold my tears to fall down. this feeling can't be any worst than this, it almost hurts that still, i can remember every detail back on that time where my heart stumbled and broke into pieces. same thing happen again, yet i can't do anything even this time, i've already tried to be honest. well then, being honest was the wrong trial and everything seems worthless after. if i could, i wanna go to Melbourne right now, start college, and leave all the things behind. you there, i love you, sorry that things really don't work out for us right now.