thoughts;share

So here it begins...
As i hop on Metro every weekend afternoon to go to work, i never found any particular kind of thing that really had my attention. Not anyone, not anything. Until today, where i saw an old man, sat in the waiting chair in the station where i always take my train. The first thing i saw were his shoes, no, it wasn't an expensive look of shoes. Not even close to a dirty old shoes. He wore a pair of a different shoes (totally different one to another) that have already torn apart until i could see his toes out everywhere. I bet he cant even walk properly with those pair. Since then i couldn't take my eyes of him, i also saw his bag, totally broken. He brought two plastic bags that i wasn't quite sure what's inside. We hopped on the same carriage, where i sat one seat apart behind him. i rolled my eyes around, everyone with their activities. No one really cared and realised about this man appearance. Still i had my eyes on this man, from head to toe over and over again for the past 15minutes. I just couldn't get over it.

My heart broke. As i saw everyone in very good look compared to this shabby old man.

I looked at my self, i looked shit with my broken dirty old shoes as well but it was nothing compared to what this man has. I impulsively took my wallet out from my bag and took yesterday work's salary that i just got. I felt bad at that time, i was thinking what was in my mind to give that money to a stranger that i feel sorry to. And in fact i need that money to pay my rent. I curled up the money i wanted to put them back in my wallet. I was in doubt. Apart from my doubt i also scared that i might hurt this old man if i gave him the money. My hand was shaking and my heart was beating so fast i couldn't breath properly. That was the longest minutes I've been encountered in my life while in fact it was just 5minutes. My head had a fight with my heart wants. I said to myself couple times that i can still work and get money, but this old man, he probably thinks a lot even to get a meal for once a day. The next thing i did was....i don't know how to say it. I suddenly came to this man and sat right in front of him asking was he heading somewhere. He answered "yes.". Right after that i said to him i'm sorry if i came impolite like that, but all i wanted to was just he to get my money and buy a pair of good shoes. With a very low voice he answered, "yes, that's okay." and then without any hesitation i gave him all of my money from yesterday's work.

After that moment i looked away through the window glass. I hold up my tears. I cant believe what i just did. I just couldn't see this old man anymore, i feel really really sad.

So here i'm in this land, where the people are such an ignorant. Melbourne, where the people are looking so good with everything they've got they barely pay attention to others. I still don't understand, why people could let such thing like that happened. I begin to understand how people being such a cold hearted creatures now. They need something to knock their heart out, so they look out.
I dont have any intention to boast what I've just done today, merely just to share a simple story so people can realise to share, to help others, to feel sorry for this world.

Here in Melbourne, I learn how to be ignorant, i do.
But, as a human being, i want people to care about me the way i care about them.