mediocre parts of allowing yourself to go

It's been a though time for me, as i'm trying to understand things that i don't understand. I came to the point where i'm tired of having two sides of how the way i live. It is almost like having personalities where you have to split into two different people. That's very difficult. Cause you know, people from the past might wanted you to be the same person they knew. I would say i'm far from what i was. It terrifies me, where i live based on what i believe now but people believe that i'm still the same person i was back then. I can't go back, i just can't.

As if i had the power to know what the future is gonna be, i would stay on where i came from. I would never have the dream of travelling, even a bit. Cause all i can say is, to travel is to destroy the old you--could be a small part or the whole part. Yet you never know whether its small or whole until you're there in the middle of your journey.

I could have been stayed there.
I really wish my parents wouldn't allow me to go.
I really WISH i didn't allow my self to go.
I'm afraid i hurt people that i love.
Cause i'm different now.