hello, how are you? (notes from 26/03/14)

How are you self? Are you OK?
I have so much going on lately on my head. Yeah maybe they only happen in my head, and thats what i hate about it. I don't like the idea of just being alone with my thoughts as they could easily killing me. Hell i'm not happy right now. I'm not happy with my life, i don't know whats going on i just feel like I'm hanging in the clouds, far away up there. I hate to admit that I'm broke right now, i don't have any savings, those traveling dreams might need to wait a bit longer. It happens to me when i feel lonely all the time i spend my money to make myself happy. For a note, i never really have so much money and it means i use my money for living--spent them on things that i want but i don't need. I'm fucking broke right now i don't know what to do with my life. I don't wanna tell my parents that i'm broke, they just paid the whole fucking amount of my school fees. FUCK. FUCK. They're just goddamn expensive i hate it.
My parents are the best. They've been working their whole life to make me living well right now. Really i don't wanna be a problem for them. But how?
I'm a fucking problem myself.
I'm a fucking trouble to be who i'am now.
I don't love myself, i really wish i did.
I might just wanna say i'm just hopeless. Hopeless about everything, especially myself.
I'm just hopeless, period.

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