I think i'm back with different spirit than before. It's crazy, i feel crazy!
I'm losing it! I have so much humour in me i need to get it out!
It is almost a year since i moved back to indonesia and now i'm working full-time as photographer in Bali. It feels weird to be here, to be iam now. And the fact that i have this urge to be back on this lame ass blogspot again and write. Amazing isnt it how time passes so fast and oh hello-i-forgot-i-used-to-write. I miss everything about writing where you just kinda blow your head off and let your fingers to do the work.
I'm here again. Just to congratulate my stupid confident self on resigning my first real job before i hit 23 next month. It feels real than ever. I think i'm getting there somewhere. It's vague. It's a mind trick i'm having here. I'm happy but i'm not. I feel relieved but i know the whole surviving bullshit ahead of me. You know sometimes i feel like just ask my dad shitload of cash and be dadda's lil girl and drivin on convertible and shove up all of that cash in my butt and be happy about it. But you know, you will hit a certain point in your life where asking, even a small stuff to your providing parents is a bullshit. It's BULLSHIT. People say that youre so fucking young but youre not. Who knows youre being hit by bus the next day and people just realize that youre lame and old and dead. FIN.
But you know youre young and you deserve something better because you work your ass off. You know, to be something big you gotta eat a lot of shit, by a lot i mean like HEAPS A CRAZY FUCKING LOT. You may feel great about your first job and a decent pay but you know what? You are a fucking pig who working up ur ass for someone else, someone else that knows that youre worth a fucking million dollar but they choose to pay you decent rather small because youre a fucking junior. BULLSHIT. Oh hell dont ask me how many times i reply this scene on my head where i just think that im worth that small but then again, NO, i know i'm more than million dollar worth!!! Corporate jobs is fucking lame and stupid. They tell you lies. They tell you that your job is shit but they still using it. They tell you that youre gonna do big project next time but hey! i'm lying! this is all a fucking brilliant scenario we play so you believe you do a good work and be our slave and obviously staying in the company! We have money so we can do whatever we want and manipulate you. ASSHOLE!
At least i think i'm happy that im finally be able to let this one go. I have something else to chase, i know big thing is gonna happen to me. Everything will fall into its place. The next journey will be lil bit crazier than this and all you gotta remember is youre one step closer. ONE bullshit is gone and now you will have another. You gotta work harder and believe, and oh STOP reading those astrology blog about anything that has something to do with your world and the outside world. I know your mind will always say I like it! It's amusing! but always take the good part and if you read the bad one just dont believe it and think that the writer is fucking bullshit. And youre back again!
This is real life, things dont evolve around you just because youre a good person. Good things wont wait. You gotta chase it! Faster! Harder! Crazier!
You're losing it! But youre happy :D
And you understand maybe you need to sleep.